Body Language Expert: Stop Using This, It’s Making People Dislike You, So Are These Subtle Mistakes!

The Diary Of A CEO (DOAC)
Topics: Body Language, Communication, Social Skills, Personal Development, Interpersonal Relationships

Video’s main points

The video features Vanessa Van Edwards discussing body language, social cues, and how to effectively communicate and connect with others. Key points include the importance of warmth and competence in creating impressions, strategies for making conversation, and how to develop interpersonal skills that improve both personal and professional relationships.

The Importance of Non-Verbal Communication

In our daily interactions, the ability to communicate effectively goes beyond words. Research shows that our brains are 12.5 times more likely to believe non-verbal gestures over spoken words. This highlights why understanding body language is crucial for building authentic relationships and making lasting impressions.

Vanessa Van Edwards, a renowned behavioral investigator, emphasizes how small gestures can significantly alter the perception of competence and warmth. She notes that 82% of our initial impressions of people stem from these qualities. If you find yourself feeling anxious in social situations or struggling to connect with others, implementing a few key social ‘power cues’ can improve your confidence and communication skills.

Power Cues for Competence

• Steepling – This gesture involves placing your fingertips together in a triangular shape. It signals calmness and confidence, showcasing that you are open and ready to engage.
• Posture – Maintaining a relaxed posture with shoulders back and head high not only makes you appear more confident but also helps you feel more composed and fearless when interacting with others.
• Eye Contact – Effective eye contact is essential. Aim for 60-70% eye contact during conversations to indicate that you are attentive and engaged without coming across as overly aggressive.
• Lower Lid Flex – Flexing your lower eyelid can convey focus and interest. It encourages others to feel like they are the center of attention and fosters a deeper connection.
• Downward Inflection – Concluding sentences with a downward inflection can give statements more weight and help convey your points as confident rather than questioning.

Warmth Cues for Building Relationships

• Triple Nod – A slow, deliberate nod encourages others to continue speaking and shows that you are actively listening to them.
• Head Tilt – Tilting your head slightly while someone speaks denotes empathy and understanding, helping to warm up the conversation.
• Authentic Smile – Ensure your smile reaches your eyes. This genuine expression of warmth and friendliness can reassure others that you are approachable and relatable.
• Leaning In – When engaged in conversation, leaning into the discussion can signal that you are interested and invested in what the other person is saying.
• Non-Verbal Bridging – This involves gestures that connect you physically and emotionally to the other person, which may include slight touches during the conversation to signal friendliness and warmth.

Overcoming Social Awkwardness

For those who feel awkward in social environments, it’s important to focus on your strengths. Identifying your unique social attributes allows you to play to your advantages. Do you enjoy storytelling, listening, or empathizing? These qualities can be used to create stronger connections with others.

Van Edwards emphasizes the need for practice; the more you engage in social interactions, the more confident you will become. She encourages individuals to abandon the “what do you do” question that often leads to uninspired conversations. Instead, ask questions that ignite excitement and creativity, fostering deeper discussions.

The Role of Body Language in Friendships

When it comes to building friendships, body language plays a pivotal role. The openness in your posture, warmth in your smiles, and inviting gestures all contribute to creating a welcoming environment where potential friends can feel confident engaging with you.

Using verbal signals such as “What’s an exciting project you’re working on?” or “What’s your biggest goal?” can help initiate conversations that lead to meaningful relationships. This strategy is especially effective in networking events, where individuals are looking to form connections.

Navigating Modern Relationships

In a world where many interactions occur online or behind screens, many individuals grapple with loneliness and the challenge of forming real connections. The importance of nurturing weak ties—the casual relationships that often go overlooked—can lead to increased happiness and fulfillment.

Instead of feeling daunted by the vastness of relationship-building, focus on smaller, incremental approaches. Try intentionally seeking interactions in coffee shops, gyms, or community events. Over time, these moments collectively help in reinforcing your social network.

Conclusion: Embrace Your Journey

It’s essential to remember that improving your social skills is a journey. With practice, patience, and a willingness to connect, you can build an authentic network of relationships, whether in personal or professional circles. Start small by harnessing effective body language and sincere questions to ignite conversations and build lasting connections—your future self will thank you.